Losing a loved one is one of the most painful experiences anyone can endure. Whether it’s a family member, close friend, or significant other, the emotional impact can feel overwhelming, as if a part of ourselves has been lost. The flood of emotions that accompany death—sorrow, anger, disbelief, even guilt—can be difficult to control and often seem impossible to navigate. Yet, while grief is an inevitable part of life, understanding it and learning how to manage our feelings can help us cope more effectively.

Grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience. It follows no strict timeline and affects each person differently. However, many people experience some form of the five stages of grief, outlined by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her landmark work on death and dying. These stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—represent common emotional responses to loss, though not necessarily in a linear fashion. People often move back and forth between stages, experiencing some more intensely than others.

Denial is often the first response, when the shock of loss is too immense to comprehend fully. In this stage, individuals might feel numb or detached, as if they are witnessing their loss from a distance. It is the mind’s way of shielding us from the reality of what has happened, giving us time to adjust.

Anger frequently follows as the reality begins to settle in. This anger can be directed at the situation, oneself, or even the person who has passed. It is a natural part of the grieving process, though difficult to endure, and it can help release pent-up emotions.

Bargaining is a stage where one may find themselves consumed with “what-ifs” and “if-onlys.” During this time, we may question the fairness of life and wish for different outcomes, hoping to rewrite the narrative that led to our loss.

Depression often comes as the weight of loss feels inescapable. It’s important to understand that grief-related depression is different from clinical depression. While it is natural to feel profound sadness, it is also essential to seek support if these feelings become unmanageable or prolonged.

Finally, acceptance does not mean forgetting or “moving on,” but rather learning to live with the loss. It is the stage where individuals come to terms with the fact that their loved one is gone and begin to reintegrate into life with that new understanding.

While these stages provide a framework, real grief is much messier and far less predictable. Emotions can shift rapidly, leaving us feeling out of control. This unpredictability is normal, but it makes managing emotions particularly challenging. So how can one effectively manage the deep sorrow and confusion that comes with loss?

First, allow yourself to feel. In a culture that often pressures people to “be strong” and mask their emotions, it’s crucial to give yourself permission to grieve fully. Cry when you need to. Talk about your feelings with trusted friends, family members, or counselors. Writing in a journal or expressing your grief through art or music can also be powerful ways to release the emotional burden.

Second, don’t rush the process. Grief has no expiration date. Trying to suppress or speed through the pain only prolongs the healing process. Allow yourself time, even if that means weeks, months, or years. Each person’s journey with grief is different, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.

Third, seek out support. Grief can feel isolating, especially when it seems that no one else can understand your pain. Surround yourself with people who are compassionate and empathetic. Support groups, either in person or online, can connect you with others who are navigating similar losses.

Lastly, take care of your physical and mental health. Grieving takes a toll not only on the mind but also on the body. Regular sleep, exercise, and proper nutrition can help keep you grounded during such an emotionally turbulent time. Be mindful of any tendencies to overwork or engage in destructive behaviors to avoid feeling your grief.

In the end, managing emotions after a significant loss is not about control, but about balance. Grief is an expression of love, and in time, we learn to carry both the pain of loss and the memory of our loved one. While the emotions may never fully disappear, they become a part of the tapestry of our lives—reminders of the significance of the person we lost, and of the strength we have within ourselves to endure the most difficult of times.